My Happiness

Last night I don't know why, but I feel down, I feel alone, I feel I am happy but I am not. I feel blessed but I feel really alone. I know many people care about me but I can't manage my loneliness. God has made me perfect. He give me everything, but I can't control my feeling. I am working with my logic but my feeling always the big part for me to take decisions of my life.


 At that point i make this poem to release my loneliness feeling.

My HAPPINESS

People see my smile
I am Happy
I feel blessed
I feel loved
I have everything
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Pengharapan

Setelah sekian lama (3 tahun) tidak melanjutkan menulis blog ini, akhirnya hari ini aku ingin menulis lagi. Meskipun yang aku tuliskan ini kegalauan dan mungkin puisi-puisi yang aku buat banyak karena kegalauan, tapi semoga semua yang aku tuliskan memberikan inspirasi kepada teman-teman yang membaca blog ini.

Puisi ini tiba-tiba terpikir dan ingin aku tulis di blog ini.

Ku terdiam dan membisu
Merasakan apa ini di hatiku
Mencoba tuk mencerna
Tanpa ada jawaban

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Dear Lord

Dear Lord,
Thank you for all that You have done for me
I need Your help now
Help me to forget him
Help me to move on
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What will i do?

Valentine is almost here and on my private time, i tried to think about what will i do if God give me someone to love again.

Now, I already open my heart and no matter what happen with my ex, Thats will not affect me again. That's already be my past and always be my past. God want me learn something from that.

I am not like other people who can love someone easily, i need to see his act, his courage and his sacrifice to fight for his love to me and i will try my best to love him.

And this is what will i do to show my love

1. I will always care to him

2. I will never let him feel alone

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Jawaban Tuhan di Hidupku

Setelah lama aku tidak posting di blog, tiba-tiba siang ini aku merasa Tuhan ingin aku menuliskan puisi ini disini. Aku berharap puisi ini dapat memberkati siapapun yang membacanya.

Ketika aku terdiam, aku berpikir

Untuk apa hidupku di dunia ini

Mengapa aku hidup di dunia ini

Bukankah hidup di Surga jauh lebih menyenangkan?

Aku bertanya tak pernah henti

Hidup di dunia yang fana ini

Tidak ada yang abadi di sini

Aku ingin sesuatu yang abadi Tuhan

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Terlalu Besar

TELAH KULIHAT BUKTI KASIH-MU
KAU MENDERITA GANTIKANKU
DENGAN DARAH-MU KAU S'LAMATKANKU
KINI KU HIDUP MENYENANGKAN-MU

REFF:
TERLALU BESAR KASIH-MU BAPA
PENGORBANAN YANG KAU B'RIKAN BAGIKU
TERLALU MAHAL DARAH-MU YESUS
TERCURAH UNTUK MENEBUS HIDUPKU

BRIDGE:
HIDUP YANG KAU B'RIKAN BAGIKU
S'LAMATKAN DAN PULIHKANKU
LEBIH DARI SEGALANYA

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For You

I've been thinking of u so much, u see, and
wondering if u're thinking of me?
So I thought it might be nice to send this special note to u
To say it's nice to know u're there
and let u know how much I care

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Special Friend Forever

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop.
Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. 
Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. 
This is forever friendship. 
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Hingga Akhir Waktu - Aditya

Akankah mungkin kau merasakan
Apa yang ada di dalam hatiku
Bukan sekedar angan tak tentu
Ku hanya ingin ada untukmu

Mungkinkah kau menyadari
Hati ini telah menjadi milikmu
Walau ku harus menghentikan dunia
Akan ku tunggu kau hanya kau
Hingga ahir waktu
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I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

I know this song from someone who i love at the first time I met. I love this song because for me if someone love us, He will never give up and will try the best he can to show his love. I'm getting older and want someone who really love me and will never give up on our love. On this valentine day i hope i can find a love like that. 

I don't know what to say... but trust me and never give up.... just show me your love.
 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Lyrics :

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

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I Have Enough

 

Setengah percaya dan tidak percaya dengan apa yang aku rasakan sekarang.. Sekarang aku mengerti apa artinya "Time Heals All Wounds".

May be you will ask me, Heal about what? and my answer is EVERYTHING what you feel with your heart, what you think with your brain.

Saat ini, aku merasakan semuanya itu sudah berakhir, semua yang aku rasakan untuk dia hanya tinggal sebuah kenyataan indah di masa lalu.Tidak ada yang perlu disesali, tidak ada yang perlu disayangkan. I have enough for everything...

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Happy Moment

Birthday is always be a happy moment. No matter how old we are...
Birthday is always give me a new hope. When i feel there is someone care to me that's make me feel so happy. This year i feel so bless with you all around me.

Thank you God for all You give me.
Thank you my family... I Love You so much
Thank you my Bestfriend... You know... You mean so much to me.


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Love is.....

Talking about love... Love is always complicated.
When we are in love... that's mean we must ready for the happy and bad moment. I already write about true love, now i'll try to desribe what is love for me.

Love is... 

Love is unconditional

Love is truth

Love is joy

Love is respectful

Love is freely given

Love is a free gift

Love is freedom

Love is compassionate, merciful, gracious

Love is amazing, awesome, glorious

Love is considering and honoring others... their whole being - identity, ideas, beliefs, feelings... Love understands.

Love is listening, enlightenment, intimacy, romance, trust, peace, excitement, joy...

Love is The Journey...

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You Are The Reason - Ketama

I Love this Song so much.... 

How can I forget
The longings of my heart
It's you I think of night and day

I know I couldn't touch you
I know I couldn't hold you
Though I wish I really could
just care for you

You are the reason
The seasons of my life
You're everything I wish and live for
Give me an answer
Show me the way
You're breaking me, leaving me in pain

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I'm fully ready

You come like You promised You would
I want to surrender for good
I know that I need You
And I don't want to keep living life alone

So take my heart and make it new
make it true And make it like You
Take my hands I lift them high
They're Yours not mine to do

Do what You will
Do what You will
Do what You will

Im ready now
Im ready now
Im ready now

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Butiran Debu - Rumor

Namaku cinta ketika kita bersama
Berbagi rasa untuk selamanya

Namaku cinta ketika kita bersama
Berbagi rasa sepanjang usia

Hingga tiba saatnya aku pun melihat
Cintaku yang khianat, cintaku berkhianat

Aku terjatuh dan tak bisa bangkit lagi
Aku tenggelam dalam lautan luka dalam
Aku tersesat dan tak tahu arah jalan pulang
Aku tanpamu butiran debu

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Cinta Sejati???

Adakah cinta sejati di dunia ini? Apa yang bisa menilai seberapa besar cinta itu? Apa yang bisa menjamin cinta itu tulus? Apa yang bisa menjamin cinta itu akan abadi? Mengapa cinta itu menyenangkan sekaligus menyakitkan?

Pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti itu yang selalu berkecamuk di dalam pikiranku 3 tahun terakhir ini. Apakah aku sedang patah hati? Tidak. Itu yang akan aku katakan dengan lantang. Tapi aku tidak bisa membedakan apakah perasaan ini bisa dikatakan sebagai patah hati atau bukan. Aku hanya meragukan cinta. 

5 Tahun yang lalu aku merasakan apa artinya cinta dan bagaimana indahnya cinta. Cinta itu benar-benar nyata. Aku benar-benar mempercayai cinta yang aku rasakan, aku lihat, dan aku dengar. Saat itu, aku benar-benar merasa bahwa cinta itu ada. Cinta itu begitu besar dan nyata. Belum pernah aku melihat orang dengan cinta yang begitu besar di matanya. Saat aku melihat matanya… matanya tidak pernah berpaling dari mataku. Saat aku bertanya apa yang dia lihat? Dia hanya berkata dia ingin melihat ciptaan Tuhan yang indah. Saat kita makan bersama, saat kita pergi, saat kita hanya sekedar mengobrol.. tidak pernah dia melepaskan tatapan itu dariku. Bahkan saat dia mengemudi pun, tak jarang dia menunjukkan tatapan yang sama kepadaku. Tatapan penuh cinta, tatapan penuh kehangatan, dan tatapan yang sangat berarti bagiku… Aku bisa merasakan segala yang tak terucapkan oleh nya. Tatapan itu yang selalu aku rindukan saat ini.

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A True Friend

Since a few days ago, my bestfriend has some problems ... I try my best to comfort her ... with this situation, I know how beautiful our friendship. God give something wonderful for me to learn how i must appreciate this friendship.

Not an easy thing to maintain a friendship. Often we have to argue but nothing is more valuable than this friendship.

Not easy to find a true friend. But  true friend never leaves us. when we are sad, when we are happy. A true friend will always accompany us patiently without complaining.

I remember a song about friendship :

Persahabatan kan kekal bila yesus beserta

Persahabatan tak kenal perasaan kecewa

Sampai waktunya tiba, pulang ke rumah Bapa

Waktu hidup tak panjang, bersahabatlah

Oh God, may You always keep our friendship. Because only You know how strong our friendship. only You know how this friendship can be better.

Thanks God, Thanks Sutaaraito....

"Forever: now and until the end, you are, and always will be, my best friend. You're there through the tears, the pain, and joys, the good, the bad, and everything in-between."

"A friend is someone who smiles when you smile, laughs when you laugh, but holds your hand when you cry."

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I Hate Myself For Losing You

Here feeling so down
Knowing you won't be around
In the rain all alone
Facing the world on my own
I pushed you away
But I wanted you to stay
Now I'm here all by myself
Because now you're with someone else.

A girl here with a broken heart
Been crying since the day we part
Boy, I didn't want you to go
I just want you to know
When we kissed I still feel it on my lips
I still hear you in my dreams saying you love me
I still feel your hands entwined with mine
I miss when we were together everything was fine.
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My Hope is on You

A few days a go, I and my bestfriend got a christmas gift from AB. I'm very happy because lately I liked to hear west christian song since I know I can hear west radio online. They play song different with radio in here. They play song which never play in here. And mostly they play a beautiful song. I like the song from the lyric. I feel the song give me more strength, hope and happiness because their lyric like what I felt. That's made me feel like have friend who feel the same with me. Like they cry when I cry...

Because that gift and another gift, my bestfriend said to me that she feel like God completely what she need now. I'm happy too for her. But in the other side of my heart, I just asking to God. "God, when You will completely clear my heart from this hurt like You completely what she need?" The last community prayer at my office told about how we must forgive and forget. We need to forgive and forget before God give us what we want. I forgive him but I can't forget that hurt... It was hurt my heart so much.

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